Is Panic Disorder a Blood Type

Pulsating lumps in my throat...
Paralyzing my every move.
It's hard to swallow,
Harder to breathe
Leaving me helpless,
hopeless and distraught.
Tear ducts leak, fear builds, loneliness overwhelms me.

lost love

restless heart
filled with pain
nothing inside me
all has been drained

burning eyes
swollen too
my soul has earned
the meaning of blues

your tiny paws
forever etched in my heart
how to I move on
I have no idea where to start.

your spirited love
guided me through so much
how do I let go
of my furbaby's touch

your love was so kind and true
living without you
feels completely impossible to do.

run in paradise
my darling Pip
i'll never fill this void
you were just too damn hip!

She Is Me

She is sad
She is hurt
She is dying
She is alone
She is lonely
She is a mess
She is judged
She is ignored
She is suicidal
She is stressed
She is confused
She is depressed
She is misunderstood
She is tired but still living
She is hurt but won't show it
She is screaming but is silent
She is in pain but still smiling
She is ME.....

All I Ever Wanted

All I ever wanted,
       Was YOU

All I ever wanted;
       Was YOU

All I ever fucking wanted
       WAS -  Y O U !!

Silence

Silence is deafening
It screams answers
I didn't want to hear.

Silence - fuck it!

I don't want to live anymore

I don't want to live anymore
What should I do...
I can't get over the pain
Of losing you!

I don't want to live anymore
What should I do??????

I
Can't
Get
Over
The
Pain
Of
Losing
YOU

First Lie

The first lie
               
                depression told me...

Is that I don't have

                  depression

the truth is

                                                                                                  

 

 

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” ― Steve Maraboli

 

 

is the truth

                           easy

 

or is the truth

                             a liar

 

the truth is

                           the truth

                       

 fear is the liar

 

               fear of the truth

                    

                           is crippling

                   

Jesus said in Johns 8:32 "and you will know the truth and the truth will set you free"

 

 

     the truth is...

 

                         someday

 

i will be free

 

 

 

 

 

 



in search of

my "self"

 

numbness - entrapped - loneliness - aloneness - complex

simple - deterioration - slipping - juggling - outgrown - balanced

unbalanced - sadness - regretted - amazement - depression - happy

considerate - unforgettable - kind - caring - understanding - compassionate

scared - scarred - drained - done - dead - hidden - honest - dedicated - lost - hurt

whisper - shout - scream - cry - joy - pride - shame - unique - spiritual - spiritless - insecure

secure - strong - weak - growing - stagnant - puzzled - grieving - isolated - outgoing

 

where am I?

 

somewhere between content and discontent; happy and sad; whispering and screaming

lost and found

 

 

 

hidden

physical pain
              the easy part
                            hidden with a smile

emotionally:                         i'm done.
mentally:                          i'm drained.
spiritually:                            i'm dead.

              just the way you left me
                        beaten, bloody, fearful

emotionally - done
        mentally - drained
                     spiritually - dead
                              physically - hidden




                     

entrapment

entrapment- so many meanings - some more meaningful to

some

than to others

depression = entrapment

to me

loneliness = entrapment and depression

to me

sadness = entrapment and depression

to me

life equals them all

to me