I Love

I love my eyes
when you look into them.
I love my name
when you say it.
I love my heart
when you touch it.
I love my life
when you are in it.

Abandoned

You came into my life,
like a whirlwind.
You loved me fast and ferocious.
Taking no time, drowning every real chance, we could have ever had.
Never giving me the opportunity to truly fall in love with you.
I could have, I wanted  to, I loved everything about you, short of the title waves of emotions.
I miss you. I think of you every day, often.

Strangers

We just
became
strangers
who knew
each other
too well.

I'd do
it all
over again
to trade
that heaven
for
this hell.

rdp

Do Not Settle

My Tuesday night muse is to not settle or go back to someone/something because it's comfortable. In anything in life. Especially love. Don't be with someone because it's convenient, easy, and what you're use to. Of course it's comforting now but you'll regret it years down the line swimming in misery and brimming with resentment. Take a chance, make a change. Unless you're just a dreadfully boring person then I can't help you, you're a lost cause.  That's sad take chances, love doesn't come easy.

Fool Inside Her

Such a fool
Setup by herself
Knowing in advance
She didn't stand a chance.

Day after day
Hope is all she had
Knowing deep inside
Even that hope was bad.

When will she put
An end to her pain
By facing the truths
She has nothing to gain.

Her lonely heart
And desperate soul
Blinded her sight
From the truth she was told.

Her inner self
Told her
Over and over again
With this man
You will never win.

She tells herself
After every
Broken promise
Next time he calls
She will not answer.

Somehow the sounds
Of his ring tone triggers
The fool inside her
Who doesn't stand a chance.

Someone

I miss someone
who isn't mine to miss.

I dream about someone
who isn't mine to dream about.

I love someone
who isn't mine to love.

lymmi

nervous energy
    exposed
like a naked serge

too vocal....
  i needed to purge!!

little did i know
  a turn off it would be...
letting go of all
  i'd been holding inside of me.

honesty - something we share
  that quality
is the very reason i care.

babbling from all
  i've held back
drivin' you away
  unknown to what I lacked.

conversation
  is what you desire
understanding that
  has added flames to our fire.

lovin you
  is what i do
forever & a day
  i'll be here for you....

lymmi

find the time

Where do you
find the time
to pop in my head
so often.
Don't cha got cha
life to mind.
Your farm, your family, your wife....

Sunny afternoon
and it's nothing I can do
I close my eyes and
I see you, my love
On my mind.

Left Wondering

Left wondering
If there's something I said.
Making me question
How I ever let you in my head.
There's a bond between us
That can never be denied
So why would you make me
Feel like I should hide?
You looked in my eyes
And made a lifetime pack
How in this relationship
We'll always have each others back.
Your mind is full
Of more than I will know
Leaving me wondering
Do I hold on or let go? 
I will continue to write
How you make me feel.
Sharing that with you
Is no longer part of the deal.

Starvation

I taste you
and I realized
I have been starving
I want to taste you again
Like a secret or a sin
I will eat you slowly
With kisses.
Kissing you drunk
While sober...
Tasting your mind
Is a flavor I can never
forget.
Feed me, I'm starving.

Secret Dream

I love you even in my dreams.
Our Secret thoughts
Our Secret fantasies
lie unfulfilled.
Will they ever be fulfilled?
With one look.....
Eyes that undress.
Hands that caress.
Hearts that beat to the same rhythm.
Unspoken words
of unspoken desire.
Please come to my door.
Please come with a kiss.
I never knew
that I would feel like this.
It's only a dream.
We won't make it real, for now - maybe never.
We are in a world of our own.
Please come share a night with me.
A secret dream between us both.
When we wake
it will be like before.
Two life long friends
whose needs and desires have entwined between.
I even love you in my dreams...

Secretly Obsessed

Obsessed with the thought of you
wondering if it's only me or
if you sometimes remember the sweet things you've said
and if you meant them how I took them
or if I'm just obsessed with what's in your head

Obsessed with your very sentences
Every response I take personal
I know it's selfishness
Have you not noticed my eyes?
They hold secrets that only you can unlock
if you'd just take time to fill the thick juices of my pride
It's just boiling with lust, passion, trust and distrust
and other things I obsess over so much

I find myself writing to free myself from this prison I've created
where only you and I reside
I become confused about what I'm really feeling inside and I
try to rid the thoughts that are highly debated as false and I
begin to cry and
think of casting love spells so that the universe can deliver this affair
I know it's unfair
but I don't care

I'm obsessed with what hasn't happened between us
I'm obsessed with your heart and that the fact that
I don't think you've even noticed my selfish innuendos
and secret undertones that blatantly express my lust
Or maybe you have and you calmly remain in resistance of distrust
If you could only read my mind by simply touching my fingertips,
I'm sure I'd catch you out the corner of my eye biting your bottom lip
I'm obsessed with the passion and thoughts I think you have
Obsessing over an experience that I may never have....

Morning Cove

Early birds singing
Awakening my deepest thoughts....
Sun risin'
Fishermen's chatter a far....

God's grace
Risin' before me...
Pink skies, slight ripples....
Spiritually I am peeked....

Your words last written
Chiseled in my soul
To do something better than this I was told.....

My reflections on the mirror of Murray, search for a day of peace....

To do something better than this.... would be to share this with you, at least...

Look Within....

Never trust a mirror,
For a mirror always lies,
It makes you feel that all you're worth,
Can be seen from the outside.
Never trust a mirror,
It only shows you what's skin deep,
You can't see how your eye lids flutter,
When your drifting off to sleep,
It doesn't show you what the world sees,
When you're only being you,
Or how you're eyes just light up,
When you're loving what you do,
It doesn't capture when you're smiling,
Where no-one else can see,
And your reflection cannot tell you,
Everything you mean to me,
Never trust a mirror,
For it only shows your skin,
And if you think it dictates your worth,
It's time you look within.

Hearing

Hearing the words...
I miss you
I love you
From the right person

Is an amazing feeling.

I miss you.....
I love you.....

Final Chapter

On the die I day a lot will happen.

A lot will change.

The world will be busy.

On the day I die, all the important appointments I made will be left unattended.

The many plans I had yet to complete will remain forever undone.

The calendar that ruled so many of my days will now be irrelevant to me.

All the material things I so chased and guarded and treasured will be left in the hands of others to care for or to discard.

The words of my critics which so burdened me will cease to sting or capture anymore.

They will be unable to touch me.

The arguments I believed I’d won here will not serve me or bring me any satisfaction or solace.  

All my noisy incoming notifications and texts and calls will go unanswered.
Their great urgency will be quieted.

My many nagging regrets will all be resigned to the past, where they should have always been anyway.

Every superficial worry about my body that I ever labored over; about my waistline or hairline or frown lines or scars will fade away.

My carefully crafted image, the one I worked so hard to shape for others here, will be left to them to complete anyway.

The sterling reputation I once struggled so greatly to maintain will be of little concern for me anymore.

All the small and large anxieties that stole sleep from me each night will be rendered powerless.

The deep and towering mysteries about life and death that so consumed my mind will finally be clarified in a way that they could never be before while I lived.

These things will certainly all be true on the day that I die.

Yet for as much as will happen on that day, one more thing that will happen.....

On the day I die, the few people who really know and truly love me will grieve deeply.

They will feel a void.

They will feel cheated.

They will not feel ready.

They will feel as though a part of them has died as well.

And on that day, more than anything in the world
they will want more time with me.

I know this from those I love and grieve over.

And so knowing this, while I am still alive I’ll try to remember that my time with them is finite and fleeting and so very precious—

and I’ll do my best not to waste a second of it.

I’ll try not to squander a priceless moment worrying about all the other things that will happen on the day I die, because many of those things are either not my concern or beyond my control.

Friends, those other things have an insidious way of keeping you from living even as you live;
vying for your attention, competing for your affections.

They rob you of the joy of this unrepeatable, uncontainable, ever-evaporating NOw with those who love you and want only to share it with you.

Don’t miss the chance to dance with them while you can.

It’s easy to waste so much daylight in the days before you die.

Don’t let your life be stolen every day by all that you believe matters, because on the day you die, much of it simply won’t.

Yes, you and I will die one day. But before that day comes: let us live, lets dance!

Waiting

I'll push you up against a wall. You'll feel it.
You won't forget this.....
because
I'll make you burn like the sun...

My love

Their love was strong

but timing was wrong

and love decided

that they didn't belong.

the truth is

                                                                                                  

 

 

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” ― Steve Maraboli

 

 

is the truth

                           easy

 

or is the truth

                             a liar

 

the truth is

                           the truth

                       

 fear is the liar

 

               fear of the truth

                    

                           is crippling

                   

Jesus said in Johns 8:32 "and you will know the truth and the truth will set you free"

 

 

     the truth is...

 

                         someday

 

i will be free

 

 

 

 

 

 



in search of

my "self"

 

numbness - entrapped - loneliness - aloneness - complex

simple - deterioration - slipping - juggling - outgrown - balanced

unbalanced - sadness - regretted - amazement - depression - happy

considerate - unforgettable - kind - caring - understanding - compassionate

scared - scarred - drained - done - dead - hidden - honest - dedicated - lost - hurt

whisper - shout - scream - cry - joy - pride - shame - unique - spiritual - spiritless - insecure

secure - strong - weak - growing - stagnant - puzzled - grieving - isolated - outgoing

 

where am I?

 

somewhere between content and discontent; happy and sad; whispering and screaming

lost and found