Is Panic Disorder a Blood Type

Pulsating lumps in my throat...
Paralyzing my every move.
It's hard to swallow,
Harder to breathe
Leaving me helpless,
hopeless and distraught.
Tear ducts leak, fear builds, loneliness overwhelms me.

You Ask

You ask
Why you haven't
heard from me today?
I answered:
I was listening
to your
Silence
So I could clearly
Hear
Your words....
You said
I love you
You said
I WILL
call you back...
I'm listening
To your silence....
Hear my words
I love you
Your Silence is
deafening
In my words....

Change

Empty
When I should be
Full

Sad
When I should be
Happy

Lost
When I should be
Found

Scared
When I should be
Secure

Desperate
When I should be
Content

All these things tell me....
I must change
All these things about me....

She Is Me

She is sad
She is hurt
She is dying
She is alone
She is lonely
She is a mess
She is judged
She is ignored
She is suicidal
She is stressed
She is confused
She is depressed
She is misunderstood
She is tired but still living
She is hurt but won't show it
She is screaming but is silent
She is in pain but still smiling
She is ME.....

Morning Cove

Early birds singing
Awakening my deepest thoughts....
Sun risin'
Fishermen's chatter a far....

God's grace
Risin' before me...
Pink skies, slight ripples....
Spiritually I am peeked....

Your words last written
Chiseled in my soul
To do something better than this I was told.....

My reflections on the mirror of Murray, search for a day of peace....

To do something better than this.... would be to share this with you, at least...

Cold Wall Trap

hospital stench,

non-stop sliding of doors, swift cold air,

walkers screeching, infants screaming,

endless heart palpitations, intestinal burn,

disbelief ringing in my ears as my heart overflows with fear.

family and strangers all around, yet i sit in an acute sense of loneliness and isolation.

the overwhelming laughter and chatter intensifies

as though the pain within me does not matter.

these cold walls with the ability to trap a soul forever....... have me entrapped, betraying my weaknesses.

thoughts and feelings pass through the silences of the mind deep inside this cold wall trap.

Faint Hope Faint Hope

Wide open highway

Is this soul of mine

Pot holes of pain

Patched with faint hope

Race Car like heart beats

Pounding harder each lap

Blurred visions of truth

I can never adapt

Wide open highway

hidden

physical pain
              the easy part
                            hidden with a smile

emotionally:                         i'm done.
mentally:                          i'm drained.
spiritually:                            i'm dead.

              just the way you left me
                        beaten, bloody, fearful

emotionally - done
        mentally - drained
                     spiritually - dead
                              physically - hidden




                     

entrapment

entrapment- so many meanings - some more meaningful to

some

than to others

depression = entrapment

to me

loneliness = entrapment and depression

to me

sadness = entrapment and depression

to me

life equals them all

to me