You came into my life,
like a whirlwind.
You loved me fast and ferocious.
Taking no time, drowning every real chance, we could have ever had.
Never giving me the opportunity to truly fall in love with you.
I could have, I wanted to, I loved everything about you, short of the title waves of emotions.
I miss you. I think of you every day, often.
nervous energy
exposed
like a naked serge
too vocal....
i needed to purge!!
little did i know
a turn off it would be...
letting go of all
i'd been holding inside of me.
honesty - something we share
that quality
is the very reason i care.
babbling from all
i've held back
drivin' you away
unknown to what I lacked.
conversation
is what you desire
understanding that
has added flames to our fire.
lovin you
is what i do
forever & a day
i'll be here for you....
lymmi
Move her out
Move your friend in
What am I hearing?
Anger I hope
Truth I fear
Maybe it's time
I disappear.
Your marriage is poison
I've listened to every drop
Now my heart is involved
I think it's time I stop.
Wishing you happiness
Now I see
That is something
You'll never feel with me.
I don't have the capitol
It takes to make you spin
Everything I have
I carry from within.
Left wondering
If there's something I said.
Making me question
How I ever let you in my head.
There's a bond between us
That can never be denied
So why would you make me
Feel like I should hide?
You looked in my eyes
And made a lifetime pack
How in this relationship
We'll always have each others back.
Your mind is full
Of more than I will know
Leaving me wondering
Do I hold on or let go?
I will continue to write
How you make me feel.
Sharing that with you
Is no longer part of the deal.
Hearing the words...
I miss you
I love you
From the right person
Is an amazing feeling.
I miss you.....
I love you.....
7:09 am sprung forward this morning – positive sides all around – sleepless night- still in my jeans and recliner – eyes wide open – heart racing….
young, scarred, clinging to life, not wanting too, was the man who became my uncle many years ago- masked, sterile, cold, fear, pain - intense pain - smell of alcohol, tubes, bandages, oxygen, tents, weren't the only descriptive of my memory… love, much love, hope, joy, happiness had their place.
it was a house fire that took his wife's life and left him clinging to life and badly burned with no will to live-
the screams were loud enough for the heavens to hear when she saw what was left of her baby after the fire- the screams moved him from within- he found hope- he began to heal- as the seconds turned to minutes and the minutes to hours and hours to days, days to weeks, weeks to months, months to years – he was there- involved in both his and my recovery-
we helped each other heal- she came to visit and to help her sister with the life we found ourselves living- she was young, kind, caring and single-
they fell in love and married…
two beautiful children were born from that marriage- a son and a daughter- many things were altered over the years-
he will always be my uncle charlie and I will always be his buddin'-
he is not married to my mom's sister anymore- and it was very wrong what he did… very wrong- people who live with disfigurements from a trauma related accident are prone to different behavior- it's my job to love and not judge-
i love him- he pushed the wheels off those wheels chairs when i wanted to go buddin'… nothing will take that away-
46 years later- life is good, the son has a son (yelp- uncle charlie has a grandson) – he is 17 – full of life, best friends with his dad, chuck – excelling in life, school, sports- what a young man he has become- the phone rang, she was very rattled- WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE CANNOT TALK?
the brain will not wrap around what she is saying- how do you suddenly lose the ability to speak? is that possibly and if so how, why???? "A L S" – rang in my ears as though my head were inside the liberty bell as it was struck. Lou Gehrig's Disease – WHAT????
the ringing began to subside around midnight thirty last night – overwhelmed is the only word one could put on this- in processing all that the mind is holding the last 7 hours- OVERWHELMED is my label.
i've lost friends and family near and dear- death is a part of life- God has blessed me to date- from all the great loss in this life- i've never watched anyone suffer- God has been merciful in taking them fast-
Her life was altered for 10 years- she wasn't the same- mid-brain stroke they labeled it- she needed 24/7 care- but painfully suffering wasn't the case- from what I've studied ALS is an entrapment of oneself inside a useless body- suffering is the label I give it-
Racing heart- tear-filled eyes – struggling here at 7:51 a.m. in my jeans and recliner.
Please pray for my cousin – Chuck Carter.
