Monday, December 5, 2016

Do Not Settle

My Tuesday night muse is to not settle or go back to someone/something because it's comfortable. In anything in life. Especially love. Don't be with someone because it's convenient, easy, and what you're use to. Of course it's comforting now but you'll regret it years down the line swimming in misery and brimming with resentment. Take a chance, make a change. Unless you're just a dreadfully boring person then I can't help you, you're a lost cause.  That's sad take chances, love doesn't come easy.

Sunday, December 4, 2016

Battered & Torn

Life is killing me
Slowly
Like a battered & torn
Sail
The wind goes through me
Opposed to pushing me forward.
I no longer have the dream
Of patching what's broken
Only of letting go
For the winds to blow me home.
Wherever that shall be.

Saturday, October 29, 2016

You Ask

You ask
Why you haven't
heard from me today?
I answered:
I was listening
to your
Silence
So I could clearly
Hear
Your words....
You said
I love you
You said
I WILL
call you back...
I'm listening
To your silence....
Hear my words
I love you
Your Silence is
deafening
In my words....

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

Storm Brews

Oh the  thunder rumbles on the distant horizon...like a spurned lover she summons her inner strength. ....the air quickend with anticipation of what is to come ...the shrill call of the owl softens as it awaits, only to be magnified by the heady scent of the tea olives early arrival ...sweet...pungent. ..strong...a storm brews...let it descend..

Change

Empty
When I should be
Full

Sad
When I should be
Happy

Lost
When I should be
Found

Scared
When I should be
Secure

Desperate
When I should be
Content

All these things tell me....
I must change
All these things about me....


Beautiful

She was beautiful, but not like those girls in the magazines.
She was beautiful, for the way she thought.
She was beautiful, for the sparkle in her eyes when she talked about something she loved.
She was beautiful, for her ability to make other people smile, even if she was sad.
No, she wasn't beautiful for something as temporary as her looks.
She was beautiful, deep down to her soul.
She is beautiful.

Thursday, September 22, 2016

Done

I'm done
Over and over
I've pleaded for respect
Over and over
You've done nothing but neglect.

My feelings for you
Have always been so true
How the fuck
Are you doing the things you do?

Some days you call
So often I can't keep up
Other days you ignore me
Like you don't give a fuck!!!!

How do you expect me
To continue and be true
When this entire relationship
Is all about YOU?

You need to learn
I have feelings too
Not just when
They are fucking convenient to you!

I could go on and on and on
I could even write a number one song....
About the way my love is so true
And how in your mind it's all about YOU!!!!

So take these words
I so boldly state
And learn from this
How to treat your mate.

Monday, September 19, 2016

She Is Me

She is sad
She is hurt
She is dying
She is alone
She is lonely
She is a mess
She is judged
She is ignored
She is suicidal
She is stressed
She is confused
She is depressed
She is misunderstood
She is tired but still living
She is hurt but won't show it
She is screaming but is silent
She is in pain but still smiling
She is ME.....

Saturday, September 17, 2016

Fool Inside Her

Such a fool
Setup by herself
Knowing in advance
She didn't stand a chance.

Day after day
Hope is all she had
Knowing deep inside
Even that hope was bad.

When will she put
An end to her pain
By facing the truths
She has nothing to gain.

Her lonely heart
And desperate soul
Blinded her sight
From the truth she was told.

Her inner self
Told her
Over and over again
With this man
You will never win.

She tells herself
After every
Broken promise
Next time he calls
She will not answer.

Somehow the sounds
Of his ring tone triggers
The fool inside her
Who doesn't stand a chance.

Thursday, September 15, 2016

Someone

I miss someone
who isn't mine to miss.

I dream about someone
who isn't mine to dream about.

I love someone
who isn't mine to love.

Thursday, September 8, 2016

All I Ever Wanted

All I ever wanted,
       Was YOU

All I ever wanted;
       Was YOU

All I ever fucking wanted
       WAS -  Y O U !!

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

lymmi

nervous energy
    exposed
like a naked serge

too vocal....
  i needed to purge!!

little did i know
  a turn off it would be...
letting go of all
  i'd been holding inside of me.

honesty - something we share
  that quality
is the very reason i care.

babbling from all
  i've held back
drivin' you away
  unknown to what I lacked.

conversation
  is what you desire
understanding that
  has added flames to our fire.

lovin you
  is what i do
forever & a day
  i'll be here for you....

lymmi

Monday, September 5, 2016

Offset

Move her out
Move your friend in
What am I hearing?
Anger I hope
Truth I fear
Maybe it's time
I disappear.
Your marriage is poison
I've listened to every drop
Now my heart is involved
I think it's time I stop.
Wishing you happiness
Now I see
That is something
You'll never feel with me.
I don't have the capitol
It takes to make you spin
Everything I have
I carry from within.

Saturday, September 3, 2016

find the time

Where do you
find the time
to pop in my head
so often.
Don't cha got cha
life to mind.
Your farm, your family, your wife....


Sunny afternoon
and it's nothing I can do
I close my eyes and
I see you, my love
On my mind.

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Maybe never

Everything about me is suspended
Until further notice.....

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Left Wondering

Left wondering
If there's something I said.
Making me question
How I ever let you in my head.
There's a bond between us
That can never be denied
So why would you make me
Feel like I should hide?
You looked in my eyes
And made a lifetime pack
How in this relationship
We'll always have each others back.
Your mind is full
Of more than I will know
Leaving me wondering
Do I hold on or let go? 
I will continue to write
How you make me feel.
Sharing that with you
Is no longer part of the deal.

Go Another

If you can
    Go an entire day
         Without talking to me,

Then go another.

The One

The one who notices
The storm in your eyes
The silence in your voice
The heaviness in your heart
Is the one you need to let in.

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Silence

Silence is deafening
It screams answers
I didn't want to hear.

Silence - fuck it!

Monday, August 22, 2016

Starvation

I taste you
and I realized
I have been starving
I want to taste you again
Like a secret or a sin
I will eat you slowly
With kisses.
Kissing you drunk
While sober...
Tasting your mind
Is a flavor I can never
forget.
Feed me, I'm starving.

Secret Dream

I love you even in my dreams.
Our Secret thoughts
Our Secret fantasies
lie unfulfilled.
Will they ever be fulfilled?
With one look.....
Eyes that undress.
Hands that caress.
Hearts that beat to the same rhythm.
Unspoken words
of unspoken desire.
Please come to my door.
Please come with a kiss.
I never knew
that I would feel like this.
It's only a dream.
We won't make it real, for now - maybe never.
We are in a world of our own.
Please come share a night with me.
A secret dream between us both.
When we wake
it will be like before.
Two life long friends
whose needs and desires have entwined between.
I even love you in my dreams...

Secretly Obsessed

Obsessed with the thought of you
wondering if it's only me or
if you sometimes remember the sweet things you've said
and if you meant them how I took them
or if I'm just obsessed with what's in your head

Obsessed with your very sentences
Every response I take personal
I know it's selfishness
Have you not noticed my eyes?
They hold secrets that only you can unlock
if you'd just take time to fill the thick juices of my pride
It's just boiling with lust, passion, trust and distrust
and other things I obsess over so much

I find myself writing to free myself from this prison I've created
where only you and I reside
I become confused about what I'm really feeling inside and I
try to rid the thoughts that are highly debated as false and I
begin to cry and
think of casting love spells so that the universe can deliver this affair
I know it's unfair
but I don't care

I'm obsessed with what hasn't happened between us
I'm obsessed with your heart and that the fact that
I don't think you've even noticed my selfish innuendos
and secret undertones that blatantly express my lust
Or maybe you have and you calmly remain in resistance of distrust
If you could only read my mind by simply touching my fingertips,
I'm sure I'd catch you out the corner of my eye biting your bottom lip
I'm obsessed with the passion and thoughts I think you have
Obsessing over an experience that I may never have....

Thursday, August 11, 2016

I don't want to live anymore

I don't want to live anymore
What should I do...
I can't get over the pain
Of losing you!

I don't want to live anymore
What should I do??????

I
Can't
Get
Over
The
Pain
Of
Losing
YOU

Suspended

Dangling in life
As though I'm suspended in space
Lost and alone
No way to get out of this place

I don't remember depression
Feeling so sad....
This has to be
The worse case I have
Ever had

Suspended - it feels like the end
Suspended - the final win
Suspended - the hurt is so real
Suspended - I just can't deal...


Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Morning Cove

Early birds singing
Awakening my deepest thoughts....
Sun risin'
Fishermen's chatter a far....

God's grace
Risin' before me...
Pink skies, slight ripples....
Spiritually I am peeked....

Your words last written
Chiseled in my soul
To do something better than this I was told.....

My reflections on the mirror of Murray, search for a day of peace....

To do something better than this.... would be to share this with you, at least...

Sunday, April 3, 2016

Look Within....

Never trust a mirror,
For a mirror always lies,
It makes you feel that all you're worth,
Can be seen from the outside.
Never trust a mirror,
It only shows you what's skin deep,
You can't see how your eye lids flutter,
When your drifting off to sleep,
It doesn't show you what the world sees,
When you're only being you,
Or how you're eyes just light up,
When you're loving what you do,
It doesn't capture when you're smiling,
Where no-one else can see,
And your reflection cannot tell you,
Everything you mean to me,
Never trust a mirror,
For it only shows your skin,
And if you think it dictates your worth,
It's time you look within.

Thursday, March 31, 2016

Hearing

Hearing the words...
I miss you
I love you
From the right person

Is an amazing feeling.

I miss you.....
I love you.....

Friday, March 25, 2016

Final Chapter

On the die I day a lot will happen.

A lot will change.

The world will be busy.

On the day I die, all the important appointments I made will be left unattended.

The many plans I had yet to complete will remain forever undone.

The calendar that ruled so many of my days will now be irrelevant to me.

All the material things I so chased and guarded and treasured will be left in the hands of others to care for or to discard.

The words of my critics which so burdened me will cease to sting or capture anymore.

They will be unable to touch me.

The arguments I believed I’d won here will not serve me or bring me any satisfaction or solace.  

All my noisy incoming notifications and texts and calls will go unanswered.
Their great urgency will be quieted.

My many nagging regrets will all be resigned to the past, where they should have always been anyway.

Every superficial worry about my body that I ever labored over; about my waistline or hairline or frown lines or scars will fade away.

My carefully crafted image, the one I worked so hard to shape for others here, will be left to them to complete anyway.

The sterling reputation I once struggled so greatly to maintain will be of little concern for me anymore.

All the small and large anxieties that stole sleep from me each night will be rendered powerless.

The deep and towering mysteries about life and death that so consumed my mind will finally be clarified in a way that they could never be before while I lived.

These things will certainly all be true on the day that I die.

Yet for as much as will happen on that day, one more thing that will happen.....

On the day I die, the few people who really know and truly love me will grieve deeply.

They will feel a void.

They will feel cheated.

They will not feel ready.

They will feel as though a part of them has died as well.

And on that day, more than anything in the world
they will want more time with me.

I know this from those I love and grieve over.

And so knowing this, while I am still alive I’ll try to remember that my time with them is finite and fleeting and so very precious—

and I’ll do my best not to waste a second of it.

I’ll try not to squander a priceless moment worrying about all the other things that will happen on the day I die, because many of those things are either not my concern or beyond my control.

Friends, those other things have an insidious way of keeping you from living even as you live;
vying for your attention, competing for your affections.

They rob you of the joy of this unrepeatable, uncontainable, ever-evaporating NOw with those who love you and want only to share it with you.

Don’t miss the chance to dance with them while you can.

It’s easy to waste so much daylight in the days before you die.

Don’t let your life be stolen every day by all that you believe matters, because on the day you die, much of it simply won’t.

Yes, you and I will die one day. But before that day comes: let us live, lets dance!

Saturday, January 9, 2016

Waiting

I'll push you up against a wall. You'll feel it.
You won't forget this.....
because
I'll make you burn like the sun...

Sunday, January 3, 2016

My love

Their love was strong

but timing was wrong

and love decided

that they didn't belong.

Saturday, January 2, 2016

First Lie

The first lie
               
                depression told me...

Is that I don't have

                  depression