the truth is

                                                                                                  

 

 

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” ― Steve Maraboli

 

 

is the truth

                           easy

 

or is the truth

                             a liar

 

the truth is

                           the truth

                       

 fear is the liar

 

               fear of the truth

                    

                           is crippling

                   

Jesus said in Johns 8:32 "and you will know the truth and the truth will set you free"

 

 

     the truth is...

 

                         someday

 

i will be free

 

 

 

 

 

 



in search of

my "self"

 

numbness - entrapped - loneliness - aloneness - complex

simple - deterioration - slipping - juggling - outgrown - balanced

unbalanced - sadness - regretted - amazement - depression - happy

considerate - unforgettable - kind - caring - understanding - compassionate

scared - scarred - drained - done - dead - hidden - honest - dedicated - lost - hurt

whisper - shout - scream - cry - joy - pride - shame - unique - spiritual - spiritless - insecure

secure - strong - weak - growing - stagnant - puzzled - grieving - isolated - outgoing

 

where am I?

 

somewhere between content and discontent; happy and sad; whispering and screaming

lost and found

 

 

 

hidden

physical pain
              the easy part
                            hidden with a smile

emotionally:                         i'm done.
mentally:                          i'm drained.
spiritually:                            i'm dead.

              just the way you left me
                        beaten, bloody, fearful

emotionally - done
        mentally - drained
                     spiritually - dead
                              physically - hidden




                     

single parenting

universe in place
  juggled on the shoulders
    weighted stress
      unbalanced in the juggle
         single parenting
           never to be outgrown
              never to be balanced
                never to be regretted

hurry waiting fools

lane changin', textin, cell talkin', speedin' - hurry up waitin' fools....
 amazement watchin' people living in numbness to the real.....

 

 

 

 

time

time
   slips away
         into the depth of life

 

living
    too fast
         to feel time

as time slips away

my “self”

Its been a long time since I've blogged my thoughts… the reasoning behind that is for almost a year now I haven't allowed myself to feel my feelings. I have ignored them and continued to run on passion for others opposed to considering what I may be doing to: my "self"

It wasn't until 3 weeks ago when we lost my 8 year old nephew, Blake in a boating accident, that I realized the injustice I was serving not only to my "self" but to those who love me and who are most important to me. Today I have decided to feel again… I will therefore be blogging again from time to time.

So much has changed about me in the past 2 years that I do not even recognize my "self"… I can't help but question if this is something that is a result of time or hormones or both perhaps? I suddenly feel the need to recognize my "self" again and to move forward from this stagnant place I have been these past 2 years. With the marriage of my daughter quickly approaching and the deterioration of my family around me; along with some new friends God has blessed me with - I realize - today…. is all I have - I better make the best of it… I must dig deeper into my "self" in search of motivation and "self" worthiness;

today I begin digging deeper in search of my "self"