A God Made Friendship

It is your birthday, and I don't know where to start. There are so many things I'd like to reflect on your special day that I literally could not fit into a notebook So let me start by saying the most obvious: I love you!

Since the moment we walked into each others lives we got along just perfectly. We were like the perfect pieces to each others puzzle. Not that anything was missing, but you, you became a part of me and you made me better than I was without you. I know you're probably laughing right now thinking this is corny and wondering if I really remember some of those younger years. While it may have a twist of corny to it, OH yeah I remember those earlier memories.

One thing that has always amazed me is your unconditional form of giving and compassion. Anytime I or anyone else needed something, you never hesitate to offer and even more. If I had a bad day, you listened and reassure me that it will pass. You never hesitated to snap me back into reality and encourage me to stay strong. You have given me so much strength and taught me to be more like you!

Everywhere you go, you light up everyone's day. You are thoughtful, compassionate, and your vibes are nothing but happiness.

Not only are you the best trust worthy ear, the best supporter, but you're also my perfect fit for the most important reasons: Your love for Jesus and you have never judged me.

I honestly don't know what I'd do if you'd never walked into my life. You've made me a stronger woman, a better me. I know how all this happened... God had a plan many years ago!

What I'm saying is that I am so thankful for your friendship, your life and your beautiful soul. On a day like today, when we celebrate your life and wish you many more years to walk this crazy world and spread Jesus and sprinkle happiness into everyone's life. Thank you for being you, and thank you for loving me!

They say some friendships are not meant to last forever and that’s OK. But those that can withstand the ups and downs, the moves, hardships and other changes over the years are truly something special. I honestly believe God had a plan scrolled out for us long before we met. No matter how much time has passed between texts, phone calls our visits, we always pick up right where we left off. 

The moment we're together, it’s like nothing has changed.  Curt said to me after he met you, 'Wow! You two act like sisters. I believe how our friendship  has worked is we have shared our most vulnerable sides with each other and we've never feared they'd go any further.. Together we’ve navigated broken hearts, having four beautiful daughters, being separated by many miles, shared countless hours of belly laughter and memories both good and not so good.

Now we have our time to enjoy and spread the gospel!

Thank you for being the woman you are! I love you so much!!

Have a very happy birthday Mary Elizabeth (sorry I heard Jeff talking about Mary's sister Elizabeth and I had to❤)

If you are around at all today I'd love to stop by and give you a birthday hug!!

God Bless You Sweetest Friend,

Rena

Quarantined Life

Quarantined life is wearing me down.

It is taking my happy and turning it upside down.

My bones are aching and so is my heart. There's no where to go around here for privacy and a walk.

The trails have been closed and so have the parks. I've been in this house from dawn to dark. 

I read my bible and watch tv, I peel wall paper, and fear to pee. Selfish people are hoarding necessities, and the stores that sell them seem to agree. 

Though I can only buy 2 cans of beans, while others walk out with toilet paper streams.

People are fighting all over the web which makes me crawl deeper within my shell..

Why can't there be a piece of land where I can walk with God holding my hand?

Instead I have become physically sick, as people online are simply being dicks. Treating one another with disrespect and hate, not even realizing their very own fate.

So many people are not taking precautions!!! Why, I ask, don't they care that people are dying everywhere?

Some say the numbers are untrue, comparing it to something "simple like the flu."

The flu is deadly just as well. However to many this virus is hell.

This quarantined life is taking its toll. My faith in God is keeping me whole.

Forever and a day

Sun shinin'

Clocks tickin'
Winds blowin'
Passin boats speed by

Music's soft
Heart rate is slightly increased
Reviewing our conversation last night...
This week....

Admiration continues to peek
You inspire me
Give me hope
Teaching me I'm not......
dead
emotionally or spiritually
I am ALIVE!

I pray my fantasies do become our reality, God is our compass.

True reality is... our fantasies are real.

The more we talk,
the more
I love who you are....
Your wisdom is sexy.
it educates and stimulates me.

Forever and a day I shall love you and be your best friend....

I respect your beliefs and boundaries. 
Never shall I jeopardize faith.
I pray for faith to never jeopardize me.

The depth of my feelings
identical -
friends & lovers..
Never to weaken
in strongest of storms....

Never to depart
From my soul or my
heart...

All my love
forever and a day....

I Dreamed About You

I dreamed that we were together all through the night.
I dreamed that you held me close.
I dreamed that you whispered in my ear, "Let's pray and Thank God for tonight."
I dreamed we did and it felt so real.
I could hear you speaking.
I could feel your warm arms around me.
I felt safe, trusted and cared about.
I could feel your heart beating rhythmically against me.
I liked that feeling, I didn't want to wake up.

I Love

I love my eyes
when you look into them.
I love my name
when you say it.
I love my heart
when you touch it.
I love my life
when you are in it.

Is Panic Disorder a Blood Type

Pulsating lumps in my throat...
Paralyzing my every move.
It's hard to swallow,
Harder to breathe
Leaving me helpless,
hopeless and distraught.
Tear ducts leak, fear builds, loneliness overwhelms me.

Abandoned

You came into my life,
like a whirlwind.
You loved me fast and ferocious.
Taking no time, drowning every real chance, we could have ever had.
Never giving me the opportunity to truly fall in love with you.
I could have, I wanted  to, I loved everything about you, short of the title waves of emotions.
I miss you. I think of you every day, often.

lost love

restless heart
filled with pain
nothing inside me
all has been drained

burning eyes
swollen too
my soul has earned
the meaning of blues

your tiny paws
forever etched in my heart
how to I move on
I have no idea where to start.

your spirited love
guided me through so much
how do I let go
of my furbaby's touch

your love was so kind and true
living without you
feels completely impossible to do.

run in paradise
my darling Pip
i'll never fill this void
you were just too damn hip!

Strangers

We just
became
strangers
who knew
each other
too well.

I'd do
it all
over again
to trade
that heaven
for
this hell.

rdp

Do Not Settle

My Tuesday night muse is to not settle or go back to someone/something because it's comfortable. In anything in life. Especially love. Don't be with someone because it's convenient, easy, and what you're use to. Of course it's comforting now but you'll regret it years down the line swimming in misery and brimming with resentment. Take a chance, make a change. Unless you're just a dreadfully boring person then I can't help you, you're a lost cause.  That's sad take chances, love doesn't come easy.

Battered & Torn

Life is killing me
Slowly
Like a battered & torn
Sail
The wind goes through me
Opposed to pushing me forward.
I no longer have the dream
Of patching what's broken
Only of letting go
For the winds to blow me home.
Wherever that shall be.

You Ask

You ask
Why you haven't
heard from me today?
I answered:
I was listening
to your
Silence
So I could clearly
Hear
Your words....
You said
I love you
You said
I WILL
call you back...
I'm listening
To your silence....
Hear my words
I love you
Your Silence is
deafening
In my words....

Storm Brews

Oh the  thunder rumbles on the distant horizon...like a spurned lover she summons her inner strength. ....the air quickend with anticipation of what is to come ...the shrill call of the owl softens as it awaits, only to be magnified by the heady scent of the tea olives early arrival ...sweet...pungent. ..strong...a storm brews...let it descend..

Change

Empty
When I should be
Full

Sad
When I should be
Happy

Lost
When I should be
Found

Scared
When I should be
Secure

Desperate
When I should be
Content

All these things tell me....
I must change
All these things about me....

Beautiful

She was beautiful, but not like those girls in the magazines.
She was beautiful, for the way she thought.
She was beautiful, for the sparkle in her eyes when she talked about something she loved.
She was beautiful, for her ability to make other people smile, even if she was sad.
No, she wasn't beautiful for something as temporary as her looks.
She was beautiful, deep down to her soul.
She is beautiful.

Done

I'm done
Over and over
I've pleaded for respect
Over and over
You've done nothing but neglect.

My feelings for you
Have always been so true
How the fuck
Are you doing the things you do?

Some days you call
So often I can't keep up
Other days you ignore me
Like you don't give a fuck!!!!

How do you expect me
To continue and be true
When this entire relationship
Is all about YOU?

You need to learn
I have feelings too
Not just when
They are fucking convenient to you!

I could go on and on and on
I could even write a number one song....
About the way my love is so true
And how in your mind it's all about YOU!!!!

So take these words
I so boldly state
And learn from this
How to treat your mate.

She Is Me

She is sad
She is hurt
She is dying
She is alone
She is lonely
She is a mess
She is judged
She is ignored
She is suicidal
She is stressed
She is confused
She is depressed
She is misunderstood
She is tired but still living
She is hurt but won't show it
She is screaming but is silent
She is in pain but still smiling
She is ME.....

Fool Inside Her

Such a fool
Setup by herself
Knowing in advance
She didn't stand a chance.

Day after day
Hope is all she had
Knowing deep inside
Even that hope was bad.

When will she put
An end to her pain
By facing the truths
She has nothing to gain.

Her lonely heart
And desperate soul
Blinded her sight
From the truth she was told.

Her inner self
Told her
Over and over again
With this man
You will never win.

She tells herself
After every
Broken promise
Next time he calls
She will not answer.

Somehow the sounds
Of his ring tone triggers
The fool inside her
Who doesn't stand a chance.

Someone

I miss someone
who isn't mine to miss.

I dream about someone
who isn't mine to dream about.

I love someone
who isn't mine to love.

All I Ever Wanted

All I ever wanted,
       Was YOU

All I ever wanted;
       Was YOU

All I ever fucking wanted
       WAS -  Y O U !!